Posts Tagged ‘Lord Boozington’

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THIBS: AAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

THIBS: FUCK THIS MOTHERFUCKER I FUCKING HATE THIS FUCKING ASSHOLE WITH THE FUCKING PASSION OF A THOUSAND MOTHERFUCKING SUNS!


Random Floozy: Don’t you have a game today?

THIBS: AAAHHHHHHH HH FUCK THE THUNDER!

THIBS: FUCKING ICE!

THIBS: FUCKING TIME OUT!

THIBS: FUCKING DEFEND!

THIBS: FUCKING ROTATE!

THIBS: FUCKING STOP FUCKING SHOOTING YOU FUCKING “DISTRIBUTOR!”

THIBS: FUCKING ICE CAN I GET SOME MOTHERFUCKING ICE IN THIS BITCH!

THIBS: I DON’T NEED FUCKING SLEEPING TIPS I NEED ICE MOTHERFUCKER!
Vanilla Ice: Uh that was actually Rip V-


Rip Hamilton: Me?
THIBS: FUCK YOU ASSHOLE, TRY NOT TO BREAK YOURSELF ON YOUR WAY TO THE FUCKING BENCH YOU FUCKING ELIJIAH PRICE WANNABE! FUCK YOU AND YOUR COMIC BOOK GIVING MOTHER YOU FUCK!
Rip: …dude, it-

THIBS: GODMOTHER FUCKING DAMNIT IIIIIIIIICCCCCEEEE!!!!!!! TIMEFUCKINGOUTTIMEFUCKINGOUTTIMEMOTHERFUCKINGOUT!


Lord Boozington: My good man, is there something the matter? I deduce that you are, how shall I put it, rather distressed at our lackluster performance currently. Tell me good sir, whate-

THIBS: SHUT THE FUCK UP BEFORE I DONKEY FUCKING PUNCH YOU IN THE FUCKING FACE YOU SPRAYPAINT WEARING NO-ROTATING FADEAWAY JUMPSHOT SHOOTING FUCKSTICK! HOW MANY FUCKING TIMES ARE WE GOING TO FUCKING LET THAT LITTLE FUCKING SHIT GET INTO THE FUCKING PAINT AND SHIT ALL OVER US YOU LITTLE FUCKS! WESTBROOK IS FUCKING TAKING YOUR FUCKING LUNCH FUCKOS, THAT ASSHOLE DOESN’T EVEN KNOW HOW TO FUCKING PASS, HE FUCKING GETS FUCKING ASSISTS BY FUCKING ACCIDENT! THE ONLY FUCKING TIME THE BALL LEAVES HIS POSSESSION IS WHEN HE FUCKING PASSES TO LOSE HIS GUY AND NEVER GETS IT BACK! THAT FUCKER DOESN’T EVEN PASS IT TO ARGUABLY THE BEST FUCKING PLAYER IN THE FUCKING LEAGUE YOU FUCKERS!


Ninja Turtle: You know I can hear you from here right?

THIBS: SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU KNOW IT’S FUCKING TRUE!


Omer: Pekala durağı, İşbirliği ve dinle Buz benim yeni buluş ile geri döndü

THIBS ENGLISH MOTHERFUCKER DO YOU FUCKING SPEAK IT?

Omer: Dans, Bum hoparlör acele olduğunu bomları
Ben zehirli bir mantar gibi beynini öldürüyorum
Deadly, Uyuşturucu bir melodi çaldığı zaman
En iyi şey daha az bir suç
Onu sev ya terk et, sen daha iyi bir yol kazanmak
Daha iyi vurmaktır, çocuk oynamak istemiyorum
Bir sorun olsaydı, Yo, ben çözeceğim bunu
Benim DJ döner iken kanca Check out

Capt. Skittles: I think coach is trying to say that you guys suck right now. You can’t wee-un like that.

THIBS: FUCKING RIGHT ASSHOLES! WHAT HEART AND SOUL SAID, YOU FUCKERS AREN’T DEFENDING SHIT AND YOU’RE GETTING RUN ON THE BOARDS, THAT FUCKING NEVER FUCKING HAPPENS YOU FUCkiiiinn-

Noah: Uh, coach?
Lord Boozington: Sir?
White Mamba: Yo whitey!
Capt. Skittles: Guys…just let it happen.

Random Assistant: Here you go Lu, here’s that ice pack

Lt. Deng: Thanks man.

Lt. Deng: awww shit

[youtube http://youtu.be/z4rMuugQnBk]

They’re being overlooked. Again. I guess there’s good reason for that. The Knicks have a sensational story, the Heat are tearing the basketball universe a new asshole, and the OKC Thunder are playing fun, aggressive, and winning basketball. Don’t sleep on the Spurs either, Pops has that team humming at the right speed.

That kind of leaves the Bulls out of the championship picture, oddly enough. At the start of the season it seemed a foregone conclusion that we would see a Bulls/Heat rematch in the ECF, pending the injury story late in the year. I happen to still believe this is the case, but for some reason, people are starting to forget about Derrick Rose and the Chicago Bulls. They’ve become an afterthought this season, which is strange given the storyline that was developing all last year.

I mean, Bulls/Heat should still be the premiere match up of the East, but as Linsanity has taken over rational minds, people are overlooking the Bulls. That’s cool, write in the Knicks as ECF contenders, let me know how that works out when they run into a team that specializes in stopping the pick and roll, the Knicks only offense. I wonder who drills pick and roll defense over and over and over again until it’s second nature?

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CE7jx3E39S8] [youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g5x_aPyvrJs]

Oh right, those assholes.

Look, Lin is a good story, he’s doing some incredible things, but what gets overlooked is that the Knicks play absolutely zero defense, and Lin turns the ball over a lot. He’s scored the most points to start a career, yeah yeah, whatever. He’s also turned the ball over the most to start a career as well. That shouldn’t be overlooked when you’re matching the Knicks up with the Bulls and the Heat, two teams that defend pick and roll like a motherfucker. Especially the Heat. Because bad things happen when you turn it over against them.

[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pya4txb73sU]
have fun, you fucking turnover machine.

Which kinda leads me to my real question, can Derrick beat the Heat? Is 1>3? I already know that Rose is better than Linsanity, no matter what people want to start believing. The Bulls will beat the Knicks in the playoffs. The Knicks are still the Knicks, they still suck ass and need to bow at the alter of Michael every time they take the court.

Who's your daddy, and what does he do?

All Knick hate aside, they still suck ass and the only team that Bulls fans should be aware of are the Heat. We’ll probably get scared in the playoffs, the Hawks can be a pain in the ass, the Pacers are still annoying, the Sixers are getting that Doug Collins bump, but it’s still Bulls/Heat.

I don’t think it can happen. I’ve been saying this for awhile, but as much as I love Deng/Rose/Noah the Bulls don’t match up well with the Heat. Deng can’t cover LeBron, nobody can. Wade is a bitch of a match up, Bosh will eat up whoever is on him, it’s not looking too good for the Bulls. Chicago will have to execute a perfect defensive game plan to compete with the Heat, and even that might not be enough. The fan in me rebels against the notion that the Bulls can’t beat the Heat, but my head refuses to go along with my heart.

I’ll be rooting hard for the Bulls, I always do, but I’m not very optimistic that 1>3.

Moe Rubio is going through the gauntlet and will post a Bulls related post every day for 12 days.

I like Carlos Boozer. He seems like a genuinely fun dude the way he is constantly yelling and screaming. I see basketball joy when I watch him play, it’s very evident in the way he carries himself on the court. This rubs a lot of Bulls fans the wrong way, but not me. I still like it when players look like they are having fun out there from time to time.

This is why it pained me so much when Psycho T made sweet sweet love to him in Game 1 of the playoffs last year. Stupid hustle jumpshot after hustle jumpshot went in as a bewildered Boozer looked on, perhaps confused, but mainly just helpless. The man has every offensive post move in the book, but he struggles only slightly less than a traffic cone would on defense.

This boggles my mind. Carlos Boozer looks like an absolute badass. He is a wide body who has tattoo sleeves and a face made for a biker. He looks like he should be a defensive menace and a power post player. Turns out Lord Boozington is a finesse player, which is not what I was expecting at all from him.

it’s either this or the inevitable visual comparison to an Angry Bird, which you can now never unsee.

The Bulls signed Carlos Boozer to a max free agent contract to put up his typical numbers in the playoffs, his entire purpose was to alleviate the scoring burden from the game’s brightest young point guard and provide that much needed post presence. The Bulls offense is predicated on a high pick and roll or pick and pop game that starts with Rose at the top of the key and expands from there. Boozer’s role was to be a guy that can hit the mid range or establish post position and create better floor spacing for Rose.

The only way that Rose can wreak havoc is if his drive lane is clear, and the way the Bulls sought to accomplish that goal was to have a solid post player work on the opposite side of Rose and have his defender commit to him. Boozer does that, and it was clear early in the 2010-2011 regular season that the Bulls were much improved with him on the court.

The Bulls did not come out of that particular gate strong, Boozer missed significant time after he hurt his wrist in some mysterious way (don’t ever believe that stupid gym bag story), but when he was in, the offense settled, and even his much maligned defense seemed to be covered up by the rest of the team.

The warning signs were there though, he fell in love with a fadeaway jumper that he works out of the post and he was rarely in the right spot defensively or he was late in rotating over on screens. The Tom Thibodeau defense isn’t about individual defenders, and that’s the beauty of the whole thing really.

In Boston neither Ray Allen nor Paul Pierce were considered particularly great defenders, yet with the simple addition of KG and with the coaching of Mr. Thibs, the Celtics were regarded as the best defensive team in the league. Thibs moves to Chicago, and even with Derrick Rose, who heading into the 2010-2011 season was a pretty terrible defender, and Carlos Boozer, always regarded as a bad defensive player, the Bulls become the best defense in the league.

The reason why is that the Thibs defense is a shape, one that needs to maintain it’s general outline in order to succeed. Boozer’s problems on the defensive end were masked by the scheme. It didn’t matter as much during the regular season that he was late in rotating over because, well, the guys he was late to defend were not sure bets to hit the open mid range jumper anyway.

Later into the season a movement began with Bulls fans to start Taj Gibson as most of us were feeling a twinge of buyer’s remorse with the current product. Gibson is a willing and able defender, and he can occasionally hit the open 22 foot jumper, but in order for the Bulls to succeed, Boozer needs to be brilliant in the post season.

It appears that he got the message too as he reported to camp 20 lbs. lighter. Memories of Bosh and Tyler “Beaker” Hansbrough absolutely lighting him up are fresh in my mind, and Boozer proving ground has shifted from the relatively meaningless regular season to the biggest stage basketball has to offer.

That would be Tyler Hansbrough and his doppelganger Beaker. Enjoy another thing you can’t unsee.

That’s what happens when you become a title contender, it’s no longer cute to put up numbers in the regular season, you have to preform when it matters. With Eastern Conference superiority on the line, Boozer must show that he’s a better player than the 12 pts. and 9 rebounds he averaged during the playoffs. He has to be effective on the block and he has to be better on defense.

Chris Bosh will hit the unguarded jump shot, ditto with most anyone else the Heat feel like throwing on the court (well, maybe not Udonis Haslem). Boozer’s a yeller, if you listen closely enough during Bulls games, you’ll hear a myriad of things, including but not limited to; “Gimme dat!” “Yeah Jo!” “AND ONE!” That act will start to wear thin with teammates if his defensive effort isn’t there, and it will get really old if he pulls the disappearing act in the playoffs again.

Rose is going to need a lot of help this year, the Knicks took a step forward, the Nets are looking to acquire Dwight Howard and team him up with Deron Williams, and the Heat aren’t going to get worse anytime soon (barring an injury or a catastrophic plane crash), and it looks like the Bulls are dancing with the crew that brought them to the Eastern Conference Finals last year. Boozer can be the loud finesse player if he wants, he just has to show the desire to play defense this year before I start trusting him again.

The fortunes of the Bulls aren’t completely in the hands of one individual. The collective needs to perform at a high level for this to all work. It happened in Dallas last year, but remember, their Derrick Rose is 7 ft. tall.