Posts Tagged ‘John Lucas III’

ALL RIGHT EVERYBODY COME IN LET’S HAVE A TEAM TALK. FIRST OFF, YOU’RE ALL DOING A MAGNIFICENT FUCKING JOB OF NOT FUCKING LOSING WHILE OUR FUCKING STAR IS OUT WITH A FUCKING GROIN PULL. THAT LITTLE SHIT BAILS ALL OF YOU OTHER ASSHOLES OUT ALL THE FUCKING TIME WITH HIS BULLSHIT PHYSICS DEFYING ACROBATICS IT’S FUCKING AMAZING THAT WE HAVEN’T COMPLETELY GONE IN THE SHITTER BY NOW.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Uh, hey, thanks coach, I think.

SHUT THE FUCK UP. YOU’RE THE FUCKING HEART AND SOUL OF THE TEAM AND I’M VERY PROUD OF YOU BUT I NEED YOU TO KEEP YOUR TRAP QUIET RIGHT THE FUCK NOW.

YOU OTHER SHITS, GOOD JOB BEATING THOSE FANCY FACED FUCKHEADS. I FUCKING HATE THE FUCKING HEAT WITH A FUCKING PASSION.

[youtube http://youtu.be/JMmNatOo9a4]

SERIOUSLY, LUCAS YOU LITTLE CHUCKER, YOU’RE USELESS DEFENSIVELY BUT FUCKING THANK YOU FOR SHOOTING US TO A FUCKING WIN.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Coach, uh, Skip Bayless said that I moved the ball and that I’m a real PG not li-

DON’T YOU EVEN FUCKING THINK ABOUT IT YOU LITTLE SHIT. AND FUCK SKIP BAYLESS TOO. IF I HEAR YOU SPOUTING THAT BULLSHIT AGAIN I HAVE A SEAT RIGHT HERE NEXT TO ME THAT HAS YOUR FUCKING NAME WRITTEN ALL OVER IT, RIGHT SCAL?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
It’s good to be the White Mamba.

ARE YOU FUCKING HIGH RIGHT NOW, YOU WOULDN’T GET RECOGNIZED AT A FUCKING APPLE STORE IF YOU WERE PROMOTING THE NEW ISHIT 4GSHIT.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
Uhh, actually this dude asked me for my auto-

FUCK YOU AND YOUR MOTHER YOU SHIT. NOW WE HAVING LOST BACK TO FUCKING BACK GAMES IN OVER A FUCKING YEAR AND THAT’S WITH Deeeeeeeeennnng…ohhh Luol…how I love thee…How my heart sings of the grace of your defense, how my stomach churns at the thought of you not being on the roster, oh Luol, how hot burns my appreciation of your game, how lost I would be without thee to lean on, in my times of need, through your defense, we are a team complete wi-

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Uh, coach, this is getting a little weird.

SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU MAGNIFICENT BASTARD! I’M TRYING TO TELL YOU THAT I CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT YOU ASSHOLE.

That’s cool, I guess…

WITH FUCKING DENG BATTLING THROUGH A WRIST INJURY, ROSE GETTING MURDERED EVERY SINGLE FUCKING DRIVE TO THE PAINT

ref: NO FOUL!
THIBS: FUCKINGFOUL!
ref: NO FOUL!
THIBS: FUCKINGFOUL!
ref: NO FOUL!
THIBS: FUCKINGFOUL!
ref: NO FOUL!
THIBS: FUCKINGFOUL!

AND GETTING HURT IN THE PROCESS EVERY SINGLE FUCKING TIME! SERIOUSLY I HATE THE REFS MORE THAN I FUCKING HATE THE FUCKING HEAT…

OK MAYBE NOT BUT STILL FUCK THE REFS THOSE LITTLE USELESS SHITS! OUR DEFENSE IS SHITALL AT THIS POINT AN-

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
Uh, Thibs, I’m hurt too…

FUCK I FUCKING FORGOT YOU WERE A FUCKING PLAYER ON THE FUCKING TEAM. WHAT’S YOUR FUCKING NAME AGAIN?

 

 

 

 

 

 
Who is that masked m-

DON’T YOU EVEN DARE FUCKING FINISH THAT FUCKING LINE YOU FUCKING LINDSAY HUNTER WANNABE! MEETING FUCKING ADJOURNED, I’M FUCKING PROUD OF ALL OF YOU AND IT MAKES ME HAPPY TO SEE YOU GUYS SUCCEED, GREAT FUCKING JOB AT NOT BEING SO FUCKING USELESS WITH Deeeeennnnng…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
Uh coach, still weird

OH WHAT? FUCK YOU YOU MAGNIFICENT BASTARD!

-Coach Tom Thibodeau, probable 2011-2012 coach of the fucking year.

If you had told me that LeBron James would be helping trap John Lucas III in late, critical possessions I would have made a bad joke referencing the absurdity of that statement and then I would have punched you straight in the face. All Brandon Marshall like.

The Chicago Bulls just plain outworked the Miami Heat en route to an improbable 106-102 victory. They did it with the reigning MVP on the bench too. I have to be honest, I was…less than optimistic about this game.

A pg by any other name does not smell just as sweet. No Rose sucks.
I might have to stay away from the Internet for awhile.
On my way towards drunken anger.

But I’ll be damned if those underdog assholes didn’t prove me wrong. It did take a remarkably efficient night by the most unlikely hero. We know him by many names, the Third, Carlton, LeBron’s hurdle, but for today we can simply address him as “Giant Slayer.”

Suck on that, you dancing assholes. This dudes doppelganger just whupped your ass.

How crazy was Carlton’s night? He doubled Bosh’s point production while taking 3 fewer shots. John Lucas III was 9-12 for 24 points. That’s clownshoes ridiculous. The degree of difficulty on his shots seemed to increase as the game wore on too. Lucas had open looks to start the game, he started 4-4 and mixed in a few threes when he first came off the bench.

He also did this.

The Heat’s interior defense was porous to start, the Bulls designed plays and took advantage of lazy rotation on the inside and did yeoman’s work inside the paint. Luol Deng played the warrior once again as LeBron was taking every chance he could to slap at Luol’s gimpy wrist. The total team effort by the Bulls was greater than the individual efforts of Wade and LeBron.

It seems that the Thibs gameplan was to single cover Wade and LeBron and shut down the help. James and Wade had big nights, 35-5-4 for LeBron, 36-7-1 for Wade, but the rest of the Heat seemed to be spectators. They combined to score only 31 points. Bosh in particular had a rough night. He was 3-15 and if not for some bailout calls, his point production would have cratered by an even deeper margin.

And then there was that 4th quarter thing with LeBron again. James was outscored by another James in the final frame. The Heat designed plays that used LeBron as a decoy twice in the closing seconds to get an open look for noted superstar, James Jones. LeBron didn’t show up on the screen on the offensive end in the 4th, doing nothing to help the unfortunate reputation he has built up for himself. Wade closed the gap and kept the Heat close, leaving the door open just a crack, but James was noticeably absent for most of the quarter. He did have a great steal on an ill advised pass, but for the most part he was invisible in the closing minutes.

So what can you take from last nights game? What does it all mean? It’s a confirmation of what we’ve believed from the start. The Heat have Talent (yeah, capital T talent, it’s that good) on their side, the Bulls have heart on theirs. This isn’t to say that the Bulls lack talent, rather it means that for the Bulls to beat the Heat, they’ll need to outwork them in every phase of the game like they did tonight. The defense was superb. The Bulls won the rebounding battle. The Bulls limited the bad shots early in the shot clock. LeBron disappeared in the 4th quarter. Wade hit tough shots. Bosh Boshed.

Offensive patience will help the Bulls, and while they are still the underdogs in what should be an eventual rematch in the ECF, there is some hope to be gleaned from this game.

It can be done.

And Fuck LeBron.

LOL