Bulls Week In Review: Blowouts and Heartbreak

Record for the week: 4-1
Overall record: 23-7

Did you know the Bulls went 6-3 on their road trip? It doesn’t seem like it, given the panic surrounding the team and the MVP. Back spasms have been bothering Rose and preventing him from hitting the court.

The Nets are awful

DWill wants out of New Jersey. He’s said this multiple times, he won’t sign an extension to stay in the garden state, and mentally it looks like he checked out. The Bulls light it up, shooting 55% from the field and coasting to an easy victory over a shitty team that Dwight Howard wants to play for. Because Dwight Howard is an idiot.

Seriously though, what the fuck is up with that Dude. “I wanna play in LA, I wanna play for the Nets, I wanna play anywhere I don’t have pressure to win.” The man sounds like he wants to be famous instead of being a great basketball player. Chicago is a great choice for him, if he desires to win. The Nets don’t have a roster, and the team he would end up being on would be an exact clone of Howard’s Orlando team. Bottom line, if Howard wants to win, he can win in Chicago. It would be a dynasty. I’d trade Deng to get Howard, it’s a no brainer.

The Hornets are awful too

I can’t think of many teams worse than the Hornets. Most of their team was hurt for this game, but mercy, they don’t hit open shots, they can’t defend, and they don’t rebound. It’s awful. This was one of the worst basketball games I’ve ever seen. The Bulls looked hungover, Chicago’s finest Brew was flat, and they still won by 30. The NBA needs to be fired for putting together this outfit, it makes me question whether Stern actually knows basketball at all.

Oh, this was the last game Rose played before back spasms flared up. This was after the turf toe issue. Rose is a tough kid, but this schedule is a killer.

This is only tangentially related. Charlotte is in North Carolina

Charlotte sucks ass.

I can’t think of many teams worse than the Bobcats. Most of their team was healthy for this game, but mercy, they don’t hit open shots, they can’t defend, and they don’t rebound. It’s awful. This was one of the worst basketball games I’ve ever seen. The Bulls looked tired and they still won by 30.

There are a few lessons I’ve learned from North Carolina.

• Never trust a big butt and a cute smile. A big legged woman ain’t got no soul kids. Also, the beach is wonderful out there, but if you happen to have the misfortune of traveling down there with a girl you know isn’t worth the time, you may want to reconsider going. Emerald Isle is cool and all, but nothing puts a damper on your time like a spoiled rich chick.
• Never date a Yankee fan, first sign of trouble that you have in life and they’ll start bitching at you for not being perfect.
• Austin Rivers is gonna be a great pro. Dude has all the tricks in his bag, he knows how to draw a foul, he will be an All-Star 3 years into the league.
• EmJeff has no clue how to pick talent. This is a trap that many greats fall into. Being a GM is hard, you can’t will your team to win from the GM’s box. You also can’t punch Steve Kerr to prove a point. Well, you can, but it might not get across the right way.
• With all the commercials banning the word “gay” and it’s unfortunate cousin, we’ll call him Frankie, from NBA courts, when will the NBA push to ban the N word? Trust me, that’s the most used slur in the history of sports, but the NBA keeps mum on it. You hear it a lot at the NBA level, but no one has an issue with it. I’m curious, is that ok because they’re black? Or is there just an extreme level of hypocrisy going on here? Look, I’m all for gay rights (usual caveat), but athletes are dumb. And they say dumb things. All the time. Just because there’s a commercial out there telling you not to use gay as a slur, doesn’t mean it’ll stop. It won’t. And if the NBA really wanted to go after slurs in basketball, the N word would be first on the list. I don’t like pandering, and that’s what this seems like.
• No really, stay away from spoiled rich chicks, it’s just a bad idea if you’re from a working class background. Different values and such. It gets annoying and then you have to do drastic things like make them hate you.

Oh Boston, you do wish he was white, don't you.

Ok, ok, Rondo is pretty good.

But fuck that guy. This one still hurts to talk about, I don’t like Rajon Rondo. I thought he got really overrated by ESPN, just like they overrate all PG’s not named Derrick Rose. Lin is next on this list, and trust me, you’ll have some saying he’s the best PG in the league by season’s end. Or second to Chris Paul. They’ll spout off something about being a true point, and that he plays like Nash or some bullshit.

Let’s clear this up right now, he’s getting major pub because he’s playing well, and he’s doing it in New York. The Knicks are still bad at basketball related things. Lin turns the ball over a lot, you can defend him, and his scoring impact will be deadened when Melo and Amare return.

Back to Rondo, seriously, fuck that alien.