Bulls Week In Review: Blowouts and Heartbreak

Record for the week: 4-1
Overall record: 23-7

Did you know the Bulls went 6-3 on their road trip? It doesn’t seem like it, given the panic surrounding the team and the MVP. Back spasms have been bothering Rose and preventing him from hitting the court.

The Nets are awful

DWill wants out of New Jersey. He’s said this multiple times, he won’t sign an extension to stay in the garden state, and mentally it looks like he checked out. The Bulls light it up, shooting 55% from the field and coasting to an easy victory over a shitty team that Dwight Howard wants to play for. Because Dwight Howard is an idiot.

Seriously though, what the fuck is up with that Dude. “I wanna play in LA, I wanna play for the Nets, I wanna play anywhere I don’t have pressure to win.” The man sounds like he wants to be famous instead of being a great basketball player. Chicago is a great choice for him, if he desires to win. The Nets don’t have a roster, and the team he would end up being on would be an exact clone of Howard’s Orlando team. Bottom line, if Howard wants to win, he can win in Chicago. It would be a dynasty. I’d trade Deng to get Howard, it’s a no brainer.

The Hornets are awful too

I can’t think of many teams worse than the Hornets. Most of their team was hurt for this game, but mercy, they don’t hit open shots, they can’t defend, and they don’t rebound. It’s awful. This was one of the worst basketball games I’ve ever seen. The Bulls looked hungover, Chicago’s finest Brew was flat, and they still won by 30. The NBA needs to be fired for putting together this outfit, it makes me question whether Stern actually knows basketball at all.

Oh, this was the last game Rose played before back spasms flared up. This was after the turf toe issue. Rose is a tough kid, but this schedule is a killer.

This is only tangentially related. Charlotte is in North Carolina

Charlotte sucks ass.

I can’t think of many teams worse than the Bobcats. Most of their team was healthy for this game, but mercy, they don’t hit open shots, they can’t defend, and they don’t rebound. It’s awful. This was one of the worst basketball games I’ve ever seen. The Bulls looked tired and they still won by 30.

There are a few lessons I’ve learned from North Carolina.

• Never trust a big butt and a cute smile. A big legged woman ain’t got no soul kids. Also, the beach is wonderful out there, but if you happen to have the misfortune of traveling down there with a girl you know isn’t worth the time, you may want to reconsider going. Emerald Isle is cool and all, but nothing puts a damper on your time like a spoiled rich chick.
• Never date a Yankee fan, first sign of trouble that you have in life and they’ll start bitching at you for not being perfect.
• Austin Rivers is gonna be a great pro. Dude has all the tricks in his bag, he knows how to draw a foul, he will be an All-Star 3 years into the league.
• EmJeff has no clue how to pick talent. This is a trap that many greats fall into. Being a GM is hard, you can’t will your team to win from the GM’s box. You also can’t punch Steve Kerr to prove a point. Well, you can, but it might not get across the right way.
• With all the commercials banning the word “gay” and it’s unfortunate cousin, we’ll call him Frankie, from NBA courts, when will the NBA push to ban the N word? Trust me, that’s the most used slur in the history of sports, but the NBA keeps mum on it. You hear it a lot at the NBA level, but no one has an issue with it. I’m curious, is that ok because they’re black? Or is there just an extreme level of hypocrisy going on here? Look, I’m all for gay rights (usual caveat), but athletes are dumb. And they say dumb things. All the time. Just because there’s a commercial out there telling you not to use gay as a slur, doesn’t mean it’ll stop. It won’t. And if the NBA really wanted to go after slurs in basketball, the N word would be first on the list. I don’t like pandering, and that’s what this seems like.
• No really, stay away from spoiled rich chicks, it’s just a bad idea if you’re from a working class background. Different values and such. It gets annoying and then you have to do drastic things like make them hate you.

Oh Boston, you do wish he was white, don't you.

Ok, ok, Rondo is pretty good.

But fuck that guy. This one still hurts to talk about, I don’t like Rajon Rondo. I thought he got really overrated by ESPN, just like they overrate all PG’s not named Derrick Rose. Lin is next on this list, and trust me, you’ll have some saying he’s the best PG in the league by season’s end. Or second to Chris Paul. They’ll spout off something about being a true point, and that he plays like Nash or some bullshit.

Let’s clear this up right now, he’s getting major pub because he’s playing well, and he’s doing it in New York. The Knicks are still bad at basketball related things. Lin turns the ball over a lot, you can defend him, and his scoring impact will be deadened when Melo and Amare return.

Back to Rondo, seriously, fuck that alien.

Dwight Howard Can Take His Talents Anywhere But Here

 

Remember that pinnacle moment in Mad Men where Don Draper takes out a full page ad to bid good riddance to Lucky Strike in an effort to save face in the public eye? This is going to come off a bit like that, but every word is true in the case of disgruntled Orlando Magic Center Dwight Howard: we don’t need you in a Bulls uniform to win a championship. This year. What we need is a healthy Derrick Rose leading the stampede and keeping the other eleven guys involved as he’s gotten us accustomed to seeing. He is a once-in-a-generation leader, a scoring point guard with jump-out-of-the-gym hops who still distributes the ball evenly and efficiently, keeping the guys involved and ultimately creating an on-floor chemistry that leaks into the locker room and permeates their personal lives. These guys are in it to win it. Together. And Derrick is our leader, our most valuable, our hometown hero.

So, why has the topic of trading for the best center in the league become more than just hypothetical hyperbole? Why would we want a player so arrogantly naive he thinks he’s allowed to make lists of teams he’d like to play for? I was happy to see that we were not on his list of potential suitors. We don’t need him. Seriously. No you guys, I’m serious.

In Bill Simmons’ seminal The Book of Basketball, Isiah Thomas reveals that the most important element of winning in basketball is that “it’s not about basketball.” Sounds ridiculous, right? I mean, of course it’s about basketball. The most talented roster wins, right? The team with the best players will win the most championships, right? Wrong. I suppose if that were true, even though his Heat trumped team defense with superstar prowess last summer, LeBron would have at least a ring by now, wouldn’t he? The point Chicago’s own Zeke (and Rick Barry of all people, among others) goes on to make through his stories in The Book of Basketball is that championships are won by teams with the best…wait for it…team chemistry. The San Antonio dynasty that is somehow still intact 13 years after their first championship run together thrives on this very principle: high character guys sacrificing their ego for the sake of winning. Because, despite what you’ve heard, let’s face it:  winning is everything.

High character winners are exactly what the Bulls brass has assembled mostly through the draft but also key free agent acquisitions from Jerry Sloan’s Utah Jazz. MVP Derrick Rose won multiple state championships at Simeon and played in the NCAA Championship in his lone season at Memphis. Carlos Boozer and Luol Deng played under legendary (and Chicagoan) Coach K at Duke. Joakim Noah won unheard-of-nowadays-back-to-back ‘chips at Florida. Rip Hamilton won it all at UConn and got a ring in Detroit. What did Dwight Howard accomplish in college? Oh wait, that’s right…

The point I’m getting at and one that all Bulls fans should embrace is that we don’t need Dwight Howard or any other big name malcontent coming to town and screwing up the fragile chemistry that has powered us to the best record in all of basketball land in this shortened season. We have all the pieces in place to win–now.

Dwight Howard will never be an NBA Champion. We’ve built something the old fashioned way here, and he thinks he’s Superman. Hey Dwight: Shaquille O’Neal already took that nickname! And copycat bullshit is something we don’t, and will never, welcome here in Chicago.

It’s not just about basketball. It never is. It’s bigger than that. Bigger than Superman.