Through Both Lenses: Closer Songs and Sox Draft Thoughts

Posted: June 8, 2012 by Mauricio Rubio Jr. in Columns, Sports, Through Both Lenses
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

by: Mauricio Rubio Jr.
email: mr@99sportsproblems.com
twitter: @MRubio52

A friend of the blog, let’s call him McIrish, recently enticed our resident drinker to complete what is quickly becoming a yearly tradition in watching Short Circuit 1&2 and thus completing the cycle of the seasons. Now, the first Short Circuit has a pretty epic chase scene set to Bonnie Taylor’s Holding out for a hero.

Let me tell you, that scene is epic. It’s also a very underrated candidate for closer/walkup music. If you’re wondering what that is, closer/walkup music is the stadium music that plays for a specific player. An example of this is Mariano Rivera coming out of the bullpen to Enter Sandman. Walkup music is the music that plays when a batter is walking up to the batter’s box before his at bat. A locally famous example of this is Gordon Beckham walking up to Your Love by the Outfield. Beckham’s song is a joke that stems from his college days in Georgia, but usually walk up music is in the vein of Eminem or Metallica, both some of my personal favorites, but I kinda feel like a lot of that is played out.

So, I started thinking about some fun/off the beaten path closer music I would like to see used in the game. The reason I went with closers and not batters is because walkup music is too short, you don’t get to hear the full flavor of the song. Closer music is allowed to breathe a bit. Now, I’m not exactly a fan of all the music that’s listed here, but I would love to hear them used in a game at some point. This list is purely subjective, and limited due to time constraints. I’ve thought about it, but I’m sure if I thought about it some more I could come up with more. I’m sure you the reader have your own ideas and I would love to hear them. Email’s up top.

Without further delay:

Holding Out For A Hero – Bonnie Taylor

The inspiration for this column. You know this would be awesome. It starts:

Where have all the good men gone and where are all the gods ?
Where’s the street-wise Hercules to fight the rising odds ?
Isn’t there a white knight upon a fiery steed ?
Late at night I toss and I turn and I dream of what I need

Are you shitting me? That’s perfect for a damn closer. It’s a song that literally calls out for a hero to save the day. It’s an utterly ridiculous song/video combo, but in the silly world that is baseball, this song fits and should be used. If Todd Jones can come out to Mr. Jones then trust me, someone can use this song.

Closing Time – Semisonic


Holy shit the 90’s…

I’ll admit this song is a guilty pleasure. A really guilty pleasure. I’m saying this pleasure would take a plea deal if it was offered. That guilty. It’s also an under-utilized song for closers. It’s got the last call for alcohol, perfect for someone who pitches after the 7th inning, it’s telling you to move it to the exits because it’s over. Done. Finito. No mas. Nothing to see here, I’m wrapping this shit up.

Closing time
Time for you to go back to the places you will be from.

And see, that’s perfect for a home team shutting down an away team. It just works. Admit it.

Terminator 2 Theme

I think of one thing when I hear this song, a metal machine stepping through fire to kill me. Finishes strong too. I would already be shitting my pants if I had to deal with facing MLB pitching, that stuff is nasty. I would start crying uncontrollably if the pitcher I was forced to face came out to a song that reminds me of Robert Patrick reshaping after a bullet wound and chasing down a cop car.

Fuck. That.

Jefe de Jefes – Tigres del Norte

Alright, this is limited to solely Joakim Soria, the only Mexican closer in existence, but damn this would be awesome.

Soy el Jefe de Jefes señores,
Me respetan a todos niveles,
Y mi nombre y mi fotografia,
Nunca van a mirar en papeles,
Porque a mi el periodista me quiere,
Y si no mi amistad se la pierde.

Which basically means I’m the big boss, everyone respects me. You’ll never see my name or picture in the paper attached to anything nefarious, because the newspaper men love me. If they don’t, they got trouble. That’s some badass work right there. You’re letting your cocky attitude fly with this song.

Promentory

These next two are centered around movie scenes. I’m kind of shocked this isn’t used more. It was already in a Nike commercial. When I hear this song I think of exactly this scene, full of impossible musket technique and badass knife/tomahawk fighting. It would be pretty epic to come charging out of the bullpen on a dead sprint to the mound with this blasting in the background.

Charging ft. Wagner

More understated than the typical 1812 Overture or it’s close cousin, Carmina Buranathis has a nice solid buildup with a really awesome and finishes really strong. It sounds amazing in stereo as well. It’s perfect for a high tension situation.

Fistful of Dollars

Everyone does Ecstasy of Gold. It’s a great song, no doubt, but I think this theme is severely underrated. It’s my favorite western theme, and it screams “bad motherfucker.” I’d love to see a dude from Texas use this song.

White Sox Draft

I was pretty impressed with the White Sox draft attack. Courtney Hawkins fell to them, and instead of taking the easy bait on a college pitcher that could help them soon, they went for the best available player on the board. Kudos, Kenny. Stroman doesn’t profile to have the ceiling that Hawkins does. Hawkins is a big kid, and he lost a lot of weight ahead of the draft. That can mean a few things, the two most prominent thoughts that come to mind when I read that are: “He’s dedicated to his job,” and “He has potential to beef back up in a bad way.” He was at 270 when he was younger, which is crazy. His frame suggests him getting wider and losing the ability to do backflips. If he can develop the power stroke he shows, then it doesn’t matter. He has the arm to play right and he’s fast enough to man the position. Players lose speed, very few maintain it. Don’t expect him to be an athlete, he’s going to end up looking a lot bigger the next time you see him, which will hopefully be in the Cell a few years from now.

Barnum is another power potential prospect that suggest maybe Kenny is looking to keep a few of these guys. His raw power would profile well in Chicago and he’s pretty quick on his feet for a 1B. Both Barnum and Hawkins are really raw prospects that attrition is likely to wash out. They both need to hit their best projections to become ML players, the good news is that their best projections are as impact talent. That’s good, considering the lack of impact talent this draft had. Kenny didn’t play it safe and he selected talent that would make sense at the big league club. It’s encouraging.

I liked the approach both sides of town had with their respective drafts. It seems that the importance of developing talent is gaining a lot of currency in Chicago, and that’s a good thing. The White Sox cupboard is pretty bare, but in my opinion, it should be getting stocked soon.

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