By: Raul Parra
Email: rp@99sportsproblems.com
Twitter: ParraPalliative

The Lifeblood

You are it.  You are the thing that stands between a great night and a bad night.  You are the gatekeeper and in those bottles behind you are all the keys to all the kingdoms.  “How do you keep from being a shitty bartender?” you ask.  Below are some tips and advice from yours truly:

Don’t Sweat the Technique:

First, lets take you through a few moves to add to your arsenal.

  • Chilling a Glass – If you have the room try to store your glassware in a freezer or refrigerator.  If you do not have the room, it’s cool don’t frown, all you have to do is fill your glass with ice and water.  All the way to the point of no return… Once that is finished start to prepare the cocktail.  Grab your chilled glassware, pour out the ice and water, pour in your completed cocktail.  There you have it, one chilled glass.

  • Shaking –   If you truly want to be a master of mixology you need to learn when and how to properly use your shaker.  Shakers come into play if the cocktail you are making contains:  fruit juice, milk, eggs, cream, horseradish or any other thick ingredients.
  1. Fill the glass half of your Boston Shaker with 2/3 ice.
  2. Add the other ingredients.
  3. Place the glass half down, place the metal half on top and hit the metal end make sure it is firmly locked in.
  4. Make sure the metal half is down.
  5. Bring the shaker, one hand on the glass half the other on the metal, to the side of your head.  Shake vigorously for 10-20 seconds.
  6. Finish the process with the metal cup on the bottom.
  7. Rap the side of the shaker where the two cups meet to open it.
  8. Fit the inside of the metal cup with a Hawthorne Strainer, hold in place with your index finger, strain your chilled concoction into your hopefully already chilled glass.
  9. Enjoy.

Let’s try your new skills out:

Scottish Side Car

2 1/2 ounces scotch
1/2 ounce triple sec
1 ounce orange juice
Pour all ingredients into a shaker 2/3 full of ice cubes.  Shake well. Strain into a chilled Cocktail glass.
  • Muddling  Clearly this activity requires a…. wait for it… A MUDDLER!  Also, it would be wise to use a sturdy glass when performing this little diddy.  You definitely do not want to use grand ma mas fine China for this.  Place the ingredients at the bottom of the glass.  Use the flat end of the Muddler to smash vigorously.  So let’s try this little skill out:

Mojito

6 to 8 fresh mint leaves
3/4 ounce simple syrup
half a lime cut into smaller wedges
2 ounces light rum
2 ounces club soda
lime wedge for garnish
Place the mint leaves, simple syrup, and lime wedges in the bottom of a High Ball glass, MUDDLE WELLFill the glass with crushed ice.  Add the rum and club soda.  Stir briefly.  Add the lime wedge garnish.
  • Blending  If there is no stated ice amount in the recipe, fill the blender no more than half with ice.  Add ingredients.  Cover (duh.)  Pulse and blend.  Listen closely for the sound of the blender to change.  Puree until lumps are gone!  DO IT!:

Rum Runner

2 ounces Bacardi 151 proof rum
1 1/2 ounces blackberry brandy
1 ounce creme de banane
1/2 ounce fresh lime juice
splash of grenadine
lime wedge for garnish
Pour in all the liquid ingredients into blender.  Add 4-6 ice cubes.  Blend and pulse until smooth.  Pour into wine goblet.  Add lime garnish.
 
  • “Salting” a Glass –  There is nothing worse than ordering a margarita and having half a cup of salt in it.  This little tip will help you not suck at garnishing drinks with dry ingredients.  First, you want to take your dry ingredients like salt, cocoa powder, nutmeg etc.. and put them in individual salt shakers.  Next, coat the OUTSIDE of the glass only with either your fruit of choice or a little bit of spirits soaked in a paper towel.  Take the coated glass over a sink and sprinkle your desired ingredient.  BOOM… FACED:

Margarita

Kosher Salt
Lime Wedge
3 ounce white tequila
2 ounces of Cointreau or triple sec
1 ounce fresh lime juice
Prepare the glass… the right way.  Pour all ingredients into a shaker 2/3 full of ice.  Shake well.  Strain into prepared glass.
 

So there you have it folks.  I hope some of you learned something today.  The rest of you… continue to be savages in world of gentleman and fine quaffed ladies.

Missed Part One?  It’s Right Here!

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