Where Our Collective Nightmare Comes True

Posted: December 12, 2011 by Mauricio Rubio Jr. in Football, NFL
Tags: , , , ,

I am a very tolerant person when it comes to religion. I am usually not judgmental, I don’t discriminate against someone because of their particular creed. I’m rather open minded when it comes to matters of faith.

That particular part of me dissipates like a mist when it comes to Saint Tebow. A neanderthal is born when I witness the rudimentary play of a running quarterback who’s faith has been shoved so far down my throat I have started to shit bibles.

For those of you scoring at home, that’s the first time I’ve cursed on this blog, and it’s all because of Tim Tebow. I get it, I really do, he’s a nice kid (we’re told) who is an interesting story because of his visible deficiencies as a passer. He’s found a niche that can last only so long before a league that demands you be a proficient passer let’s you know what it thinks of you.

So it came to pass that on this particular Sunday, surrounded by an Irishman (there’s been a lot of that lately), a Mexican who doesn’t like football really, and a whole lotta empty bar, we all cheered for the decapitation of the patron saint of annoying.

It never came to pass as once again the stupidity of Tebow’s opposition allowed him the opportunity to eke out another win that somehow gives credence to the idea that Tim Tebow is a great quarterback.

Never mind that it was a tremendous defensive effort that held the Bears in check. Forget that the Broncos relied on two crazy long FG’s to tie and win the game. Forget that Marion Barber ran out of bounds, stopping the clock and giving the ball back to the Broncos. Who cares that Barber later fumbled in overtime when it looked like he had green pastures ahead of him en route to an end zone celebration. And really, does it matter that Lovie Smith went away from the swarming defense that stifled Timmy for 3 quarters, holding him for a 3-13 effort and went prevent on us?

I mean, clearly God’s will was done as Tim lead an uninspired drive for the game winning FG. That’s the narrative.

In an age of truly elite quarterback play, we celebrate Tim Tebow. We are blocking the pure mastery of Aaron Rodgers from our minds so we may instead focus on lame ducks floating from the fingertips of God. We’ve laid claim that Tim Tebow is the most clutch QB in the league while forgetting that Eli Manning is going to break the record for 4th quarter TD’s and he has lead truly inspired comeback victories.

The story of Tim Tebow isn’t complete yet, but for now it remains as an annoyance to most sensible football fans.

  1. mrmcirish says:

    All I remember is you eating a burger that a weird, old, pink haired, ugly, sick, lady made. Is that enough adjectives for you? I’ve blocked out the works of the false god Tebow warships and have replaced them with Simpsons episodes.

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